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22 Terrible Pickup Lines for Outdoor Retailer

Wednesday July 29, 2015

Tired of striking out at the OR show? Looking to pick up a Patagonia rep after hours? The following lines probably won't work.


On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a V11.


Climb on.



Are you a GoPro? 'Cause when you're around, I develop questionable judgment.


Do you have a waterproof topo map with UTM grids? 'Cause I'm getting lost in your eyes.


It's a good thing this tech tee is moisture-wicking, cause you're making me sweat.


What's your sign? Mine is "Experts Only."


Those Carhartts would look better on the floor of my Subaru.


Hey girl, didn't I see you on the Middle Fork of the Salmon?


You're hotter than Jetboiled Chilimac.

Flickr: Nick Hubbard


Ever do it in a bivy sack?


Ever do it on a portaledge?



Do you do yoga?


I do yoga.


Is that a Leatherman in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?


How about we give this relationship a trail run...


Hey baby. I'm wearing merino underwear ... with 3% spandex for optimum performance.


You make me feel ultralightheaded.


Good thing I just placed that cam. Otherwise I'd be falling for you.


Have you tried LDP? Lie Down Paddleboarding?


You didn't hear? This year OR has a gun show. No badge necessary. 


Forget the open-air demo. How 'bout a behind-my-booth demo?



You make my resting heart rate jump to 40 beats per minute.