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The Salt Lake Scene

22 Terrible Pickup Lines for Outdoor Retailer

Tired of striking out at the OR show? Looking to pick up a Patagonia rep after hours? The following lines probably won't work.

 

On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a V11.

 

Climb on.

 

 

Are you a GoPro? 'Cause when you're around, I develop questionable judgment.

 

Do you have a waterproof topo map with UTM grids? 'Cause I'm getting lost in your eyes.

 

It's a good thing this tech tee is moisture-wicking, cause you're making me sweat.

 

What's your sign? Mine is "Experts Only."

 

Those Carhartts would look better on the floor of my Subaru.

 

Hey girl, didn't I see you on the Middle Fork of the Salmon?

 

You're hotter than Jetboiled Chilimac.

Flickr: Nick Hubbard

 

Ever do it in a bivy sack?

 

Ever do it on a portaledge?

 

 

Do you do yoga?

 

I do yoga.

 

Is that a Leatherman in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

 

How about we give this relationship a trail run...

 

Hey baby. I'm wearing merino underwear ... with 3% spandex for optimum performance.

 

You make me feel ultralightheaded.

 

Good thing I just placed that cam. Otherwise I'd be falling for you.

 

Have you tried LDP? Lie Down Paddleboarding?

 

You didn't hear? This year OR has a gun show. No badge necessary. 

 

Forget the open-air demo. How 'bout a behind-my-booth demo?

 

 

You make my resting heart rate jump to 40 beats per minute.