By Brigid Mander, Teton Gravity Research -- An unprecedented superstorm/polar vortex is currently bearing down on the continental United States, which means that if you’ve just realized it’s high time you were able to ski every day starting next week, this is the time of year to figure out where which ski town you belong in.

We’ve provided the following guideline, because skipping out on a non-ski bum life–often boring–for a reality full of happy-go-lucky friends, powder days, spectacular backcountry days of the kind money can’t buy, and the best beers you’ve ever had, can’t be beat. So ditch college, postpone grad school, drop the career you’ve been building for a decade. You are not going to be one those saps that just rides on weekends, or spring break from college anymore! This is your season!

If you’ve already done this and currently live in a ski town, you can get back to doing squats, studying radar weather maps, The Farmer’s Almanac, and El Nino predictions for your region. Here's our definitive guide to deciding which ski town to move to this winter...

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH

Move here if you… can’t totally give it all up to live in a ski town monoculture. You need a city (or a semblance of a city, at any rate), and you like working a real job for a real paycheck. But also powder! You want it all. And you plan on taking it all, thank you very much. Proselytizing religious culty-types don’t scare you. You are pretty sure you will not lose your mind if you have to go into the office on a powder day, since you can dawn patrol it and be at your suit-and-tie office 20 minutes later. You can focus on the bright side of weak beer and lame nightlife, which is that it’ll be easier to get up for pow laps before work. You collect a posse of like-minded type-A career-focused hyper athletes whose resting heart rate is a 23 and who do day trips to Jackson on the weekends to hike and ski the Grand Teton before driving home for dinner.